9/18 12時 The state of alone is truly the state of only me there? I cannot feel you? in the state of being not with you.
What is being by myself. When I close my eyes, I cannot see anything. when I cover my ears by my hand, I cannot hear anything Even if someone is by your side, you might not notice or perceive them. Maybe we sometimes want to know something In the way we can clearly understand So I don’t know what I should do. I can’t decide anything. 12:44:15
9/18 Continue exploring in my life! Don’t be shy! 恥ずかしがらないで自分! What makes me feel shy? Almost everything. I feel shy just living. For some reason. Because I’m here. I know I’m here. I know I feel the existence of me. The feeling of having a body. Living through language with other people at work or in everyday life. My way of using language. A moment when I misunderstood what they said, and then they misunderstood what I said.
3/6
Clearly, I don’t have the ability to instantly understand what other people mean.
How should I live in the world? But I’ll keep living somehow. I can’t catch what they say instantly. I can’t do what almost everyone else can do. It doesn’t work well in the workplace. Just like that. No problem for me.